The Confidence to Ask

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Many people don’t take advantage of opportunities to negotiate better deals, because they are afraid to ask.  They may be concerned about offending the other party, thereby damaging a relationship, or perhaps they fear rejection.  But not all relationships are equal.  Here are two tips on how to overcome this obstacle to getting more in life.

1.  Differentiate between personal relationships and transactional relationships;  the former are friends and family, people with whom you interact frequently in your private life, often on a more emotional level.  The latter are people with whom you do business;  this category includes vendors, contractors, service providers, retail establishments, and even colleagues at work.  A salesperson may try to come off as your best friend, because s/he knows that creating confusion in your mind about the nature of your relationship may cause you to  accept a less lucrative deal.  Don’t become prey to this tactic; keep in mind that you may  never see this person again.  Even if you do business with someone on a repeat basis, it’s important not to confuse the nature of the relationship.  In a transactional relationship, asking for what you want is just good business practice.  With regard to colleagues at work, consider that despite rapport you may have established, you still compete for promotions and raises, i.e., the relationship is transactional.

2.  Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can happen if I ask for what I want?”  Assuming that you give a reason for your request and don’t threaten or insult the other party, the answer is probably that the other party says no.  You are in no worse position than before.

Everything can be negotiated, but you have to ask.  I hope these two tips will give you the confidence to ask for what you want.

Negotiation Training Workshop

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My next workshop is November 17 at Long Beach Non-profit Partnership in Long Beach, CA.  If you live in the area, this is a great chance to learn how to negotiate difficult situations.

Here’s the registration link:  https://www.z2systems.com/np/clients/lbnp/event.jsp?event=1013

I have never met anyone who regretted taking negotiation training.  They regret only not getting the training sooner.

Better Deals Through Connectedness

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When we think of negotiation, we often focus on the differences between what we want and what the other party wants.  While it’s important to have identified those differences, it’s equally important –  perhaps more so – to identify our common interests, and to explore how we are connected.

Even when you are negotiating with someone whom you believe to be diametrically opposed to your position, you are connected in some way.  That connectedness may be far removed from the issues you are negotiating, but if you take time to explore, you will find it.  It might be a sport, form of entertainment, favorite author or actor, etc.  Reduced to its lowest common denominator: when people hurt themselves, everyone’s blood is red.

Let’s consider a negotiation between an artist and a gallery.  Both are interested in maximizing their respective financial positions with regard to an exhibition;  those positions would appear to be opposing.  But looking behind these positions you see that both share a passion for art, both want to successfully market the exhibition, both want to build their reputations.  They have many shared objectives.

Discussion of commonalities is a great way to open a negotiation discussion. It alleviates tension, puts people at ease and builds rapport, all of which set the tone for a collaborative approach to negotiaton rather than a combative one;  an approach that is more apt to result in a better deal for both parties.

Commonalities invite affirmative responses;  more yeses than nos.  That initial yes momentum may carry through when you start to discuss the thornier issues.

In summary, use these tips to make better deals:

1.  Take the time to explore commonalities and build rapport with the other party

2.  Use common interests to set a collaborative tone at the outset of the negotiation

3.  Use affirmative language, whenever possible

4.  Discuss thorny issues at the end of the negotiation, so that you benefit from the positive momentum established earlier on

Royalty Income for California Artists

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Yesterday, I had the privilege of speaking with Alma Robinson, Executive Director for California Lawyers for the Arts.  She reminded me that in 1977, California passed a law (California Civil Code 986) that entitles artists to 5% or more of the resale price of works over $1,000.   In order to take advantage of this entitlement, artists should remember to:

  1. include reference to this entitlement in the initial contract of sale
  2. negotiate the amount of the royalty (minimum 5%) at the time of initial sale
  3. include information in the contract of sale on how payment is to be made, i.e., form of payment, timeliness of payment, where you can be reached, etc.

If a seller cannot locate the artist to effectuate payment at the time of resale, the seller is obliged to make the payment to the California Arts Council, which then attempts to  make contact with the artist and arrange payment.

Laws are complicated and exclusions apply, so I urge you to seek further information by logging on to  http://www.cac.ca.gov/resaleroyaltyact/resaleroyaltyact.php.

Who knows, perhaps the California Arts Council is waiting for you to claim a royalty payment?

Humanity in the Workplace

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Today I had the privilege of attending a meeting of the Business Renaissance Institute (www.bri-usa.com), whose mission is to “transform workplaces by adding more humanity to the bottom line.” Among the approximately 30 attendees, all but two or three had PhD following their names;  this is a group of highly educated, evolved and successful people who want to make a difference.  The topic under discussion was From Me to Wenot coincidentally, the title of a new book written by three  BRI members/founders, each of whom spoke briefly about it.

I want to share an anecdote from Dr. Richard King, whose numerous and impressive credentials include a three-year stint as CEO of the Birtcher Corporation;  he was hired to turn that organization around.  Upon assuming his new position, Dr. King met individually with the six people directly under him and asked them these three questions:

  1. Are you happy working here?
  2. Why aren’t you happy working here?
  3. What can you contribute to this organization?

After these meetings, Dr. King and his team were able to effect the changes necessary to turn the Birtcher Corporation around.

As arts aficionados and practitioners, we should be living BRI’s mission to add more humanity to the bottom line every day.  Our product is the humanities.   But product notwithstanding, sometimes the day-to-day challenges of creating and delivering that product can cause us to lose sight of humanity in the workplace:  people don’t always agree, issues at home may make us cranky, and so forth.  Dr. King’s three questions could go a long way toward restoring a happy, collaborative and creative environment at work;  the kind of environment that fosters artistic output.

What does this have to do with negotiation?

1. You may not be able to let everyone have their own way, but you can hear them out and acknowledge their feelings.  Sometimes that alone is sufficient validation to elicit a more collaborative attitude.

2. By asking someone what s/he can contribute to the project or organization, you re-kindle his/her commitment. Committed people can do amazing things.  Conversely, if someone is not committed to an agreement, they will later find reasons to back out.

3. The answers to those three questions may give you new perspective and new ideas, as well.

Nice Guys Don’t Negotiate

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There are many misperceptions about the process of negotiation.  Often people associate it with labor union contracts.  They envision picket lines and angry people shouting across the table at one another.  It’s not surprising, therefore, that those in the arts sector might shudder at the thought of any association with it, i.e., nice guys don’t engage in such distasteful practices.  But labor negotiation is just one of many types of negotiation situations.

We negotiate daily with nearly everyone we encounter, in business and in our personal lives.  Procuring a donation from a wealthy patron is a negotiation; so is deciding whose turn it is to walk the dog.  Because resources are so precious in the
arts sector, it’s critical to acquire good negotiation skills in order to stretch those resources as far as possible.

WHAT IS NEGOTIATION?

Simply put, negotiation is seeking agreement.  We could all use more agreement in our lives, right?

William Ury, author of Getting to Yes, says negotiation is a discussion leading to
agreement or to the decision to walk away and pursue other alternatives.  Another definition: Negotiation is the art of persuading someone to do something they don’t want to do.  My personal favorite:  it’s letting other people have it your way.  However you define it, people are negotiating every day.

THE COMPETITIVE EDGE

Because of its universal applicability to work situations, many employers give preference to candidates with negotiation training.  If you read my August 6 post, you saw the impressive results achieved by students in that negotiation class.  If you are seeking employment in the arts sector or advancement in your current position, good negotiation skills can help your profile cut through the clutter.

Is There a Place for Emotion in Negotiations?

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In his book No, Jim Camp tells us that decisions are made from the emotional side of the brain.  This has many implications for us as negotiators. The attached article from the Harvard Program on Negotiation illustrates one way that emotion can be used to send a message.  It cites one real-life example from President Obama’s negotiations with Congress, as well as a hypothetical example for a situation we might encounter.

http://www.pon.harvard.edu/daily/negotiation-skills-daily/expressing-emotions-strategically/?mqsc=E08/09/117:34AM