Category Archives: Negotiation

Good Agreements Make Good Relationships

15 Saturday Oct 2011

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Relationship is a crucial component of negotiation.  Our relationship with the other party in a negotiation will have a strong influence on the outcome.  A well-known tenet of fundraising, which is a type of negotiation, is that people give money to people, not organizations; development professionals know well the importance of relationship in procuring philanthropic gifts. Furthermore, the very act of coming to agreement with someone creates and amplifies a relationship.

But relationship can work against us if we let it get in the way of common sense.  Sometimes we think that because we have such a good relationship with someone, we can skip some steps.  But in any negotiation, regardless of how good the relationship may be, it’s important to discuss all the issues. Don’t assume that the other party is in agreement with something, unless you have discussed it.  It’s better to bring everything out now than find out later that there is a point of disagreement that you failed to address, because you thought any reasonable person – and for sure someone with whom you have such a good relationship – would see it the same way you do.  In the moment of agreement, with the high fives, the clicking of champagne glasses and other acts of celebration, it’s important not to let the emotion and euphoria of coming to agreement cloud your thinking.  Everything is always fine…until it isn’t.

As important as it is to put all the issues on the table during negotiation, it’s equally important to document the final agreement carefully.  Don’t leave anything out, assuming that “we’ll remember that.”  People forget, people interpret things differently and people leave organizations to go work somewhere else.  In Robert Frost’s poem, Good Fences Make Good Neighbors, he reminds us that the purpose of fences is not to settle disputes, but to avoid them; you put the fence up before a problem arises with your neighbor.  Similarly, written agreements and contracts – even if nothing more than an email confirming the agreement – serve to avoid the eruption of disputes later on, and foster a good relationship with the other party for the future.
To paraphrase the beloved poet, Robert Frost, “Good agreements make good relationships.”

Negotiation Workshop at LA’s Center for Cultural Innovation

09 Sunday Oct 2011

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I’ll be presenting a three-hour workshop for the Center for Cultural Innovation in Los Angeles on November 9, 2011, from 6:30 – 9:30 p.m. The workshop will be held at the Japanese Cultural and Community Center (more location details at the link).  To allow time for interactive activities and exercises, participation is limited to 25, so if you’re interested, register soon.

Here’s the link:  http://www.cciarts.org/losangeles.htm

The Power of a Reason

09 Sunday Oct 2011

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Studies show that the word because can have a powerful influence.  In this video, you’ll get the details on this interesting research done by Ellen Langer.  The implications of it are that, when trying to persuade someone of something, we should remember to justify our request.  As you’ll see in the video, the reason doesn’t necessarily even have to make much sense.  However, note that this tactic works best when the request is comparatively small.  When the request escalates to something substantial, a weak reason doesn’t bring nearly as much positive response.

I welcome your comments on the study, and on your personal experience.

How to Re-negotiate a Bad Deal

05 Wednesday Oct 2011

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Let’s face it.  Sometimes we make deals that we later wish we hadn’t made.  Or, under the pressure of negotiation, we agree to a specific point in a deal to which we really didn’t want to agree. In hindsight, we often gain perspective on what we should have said or done to express our disagreement.  Sound all too familiar?  If this happens to you, keep in mind that it’s not too late to change things. You can try to re-negotiate.

A friend recently mentioned that he regretted agreeing to a stipulation in the agreement with his new employer and wished he had negotiated over that point.   Here are a few tips for re-opening negotiation, based on my friend’s situation, i.e., an employee/employer situation.  These tips can be tweaked to fit other situations, also.

1.  To re-open the conversation, you could say something like, “I’ve given some thought to our agreement, Joe, and I’d like to go over a few points again.  I really enjoy working here, so it’s important for me to understand your position.  When would you have a few minutes to meet with me?”

2.  When you meet with your boss, be sure to thank him/her for their time, and reiterate that you like your job.  Adopt a problem-solving attitude and indicate that you’re sure that if you put your heads together, you’ll be able to come up with a solution.

3. Use standards to argue your case.  For example, let’s say you disagree with the commission structure.  The reason for your disagreement could be based on what similar companies are paying (the standards:  fairness, competitive bids).  Whenever possible, frame your points as questions, e.g., “Other firms in town are paying 5% commission.  I know you want to have the best talent;  that’s why I came to work here.  Can you help me understand how you arrived at 4%?”  Now you’ve asked the other party to explain their standards!

If relevant, you might also craft an argument about what you need to earn to pay your bills. Though that’s your problem, it can become your employer’s problem if you quit because you can’t make ends meet (standard:  your quality of life).   “It’s important for me to be able to maintain my existing quality of life.  It affects my self-esteem, as well as my discretionary income to network regularly.” Self-esteem and networking will help you sell more, so this might have an impact on your employer; it’s the so-called WIIFM.  Follow that with a question such as, “How do you think we could resolve this?”  Perhaps your boss agrees to a monthly expense allowance for networking/ social expenses. Help him/her along by throwing in some of your ideas.   You’re not trying to get the job anymore, you’re just working together to solve a problem.

4. Your goal is to find a solution that works for both of you.  In this case, perhaps you can negotiate a sliding commission scale, benchmarks for you to meet in order to get a higher commission rate, an equivalent year-end-bonus, a car or gas allowance or a networking allowance. Be creative!

So, if you’ve made any deals lately that you’re not happy with, go forth and re-negotiate.  You’ll be glad you did!

The Confidence to Ask

29 Thursday Sep 2011

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Many people don’t take advantage of opportunities to negotiate better deals, because they are afraid to ask.  They may be concerned about offending the other party, thereby damaging a relationship, or perhaps they fear rejection.  But not all relationships are equal.  Here are two tips on how to overcome this obstacle to getting more in life.

1.  Differentiate between personal relationships and transactional relationships;  the former are friends and family, people with whom you interact frequently in your private life, often on a more emotional level.  The latter are people with whom you do business;  this category includes vendors, contractors, service providers, retail establishments, and even colleagues at work.  A salesperson may try to come off as your best friend, because s/he knows that creating confusion in your mind about the nature of your relationship may cause you to  accept a less lucrative deal.  Don’t become prey to this tactic; keep in mind that you may  never see this person again.  Even if you do business with someone on a repeat basis, it’s important not to confuse the nature of the relationship.  In a transactional relationship, asking for what you want is just good business practice.  With regard to colleagues at work, consider that despite rapport you may have established, you still compete for promotions and raises, i.e., the relationship is transactional.

2.  Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can happen if I ask for what I want?”  Assuming that you give a reason for your request and don’t threaten or insult the other party, the answer is probably that the other party says no.  You are in no worse position than before.

Everything can be negotiated, but you have to ask.  I hope these two tips will give you the confidence to ask for what you want.

Negotiation Training Workshop

25 Sunday Sep 2011

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My next workshop is November 17 at Long Beach Non-profit Partnership in Long Beach, CA.  If you live in the area, this is a great chance to learn how to negotiate difficult situations.

Here’s the registration link:  https://www.z2systems.com/np/clients/lbnp/event.jsp?event=1013

I have never met anyone who regretted taking negotiation training.  They regret only not getting the training sooner.

Better Deals Through Connectedness

25 Sunday Sep 2011

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When we think of negotiation, we often focus on the differences between what we want and what the other party wants.  While it’s important to have identified those differences, it’s equally important –  perhaps more so – to identify our common interests, and to explore how we are connected.

Even when you are negotiating with someone whom you believe to be diametrically opposed to your position, you are connected in some way.  That connectedness may be far removed from the issues you are negotiating, but if you take time to explore, you will find it.  It might be a sport, form of entertainment, favorite author or actor, etc.  Reduced to its lowest common denominator: when people hurt themselves, everyone’s blood is red.

Let’s consider a negotiation between an artist and a gallery.  Both are interested in maximizing their respective financial positions with regard to an exhibition;  those positions would appear to be opposing.  But looking behind these positions you see that both share a passion for art, both want to successfully market the exhibition, both want to build their reputations.  They have many shared objectives.

Discussion of commonalities is a great way to open a negotiation discussion. It alleviates tension, puts people at ease and builds rapport, all of which set the tone for a collaborative approach to negotiaton rather than a combative one;  an approach that is more apt to result in a better deal for both parties.

Commonalities invite affirmative responses;  more yeses than nos.  That initial yes momentum may carry through when you start to discuss the thornier issues.

In summary, use these tips to make better deals:

1.  Take the time to explore commonalities and build rapport with the other party

2.  Use common interests to set a collaborative tone at the outset of the negotiation

3.  Use affirmative language, whenever possible

4.  Discuss thorny issues at the end of the negotiation, so that you benefit from the positive momentum established earlier on

Royalty Income for California Artists

17 Saturday Sep 2011

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Yesterday, I had the privilege of speaking with Alma Robinson, Executive Director for California Lawyers for the Arts.  She reminded me that in 1977, California passed a law (California Civil Code 986) that entitles artists to 5% or more of the resale price of works over $1,000.   In order to take advantage of this entitlement, artists should remember to:

  1. include reference to this entitlement in the initial contract of sale
  2. negotiate the amount of the royalty (minimum 5%) at the time of initial sale
  3. include information in the contract of sale on how payment is to be made, i.e., form of payment, timeliness of payment, where you can be reached, etc.

If a seller cannot locate the artist to effectuate payment at the time of resale, the seller is obliged to make the payment to the California Arts Council, which then attempts to  make contact with the artist and arrange payment.

Laws are complicated and exclusions apply, so I urge you to seek further information by logging on to  http://www.cac.ca.gov/resaleroyaltyact/resaleroyaltyact.php.

Who knows, perhaps the California Arts Council is waiting for you to claim a royalty payment?

Humanity in the Workplace

21 Sunday Aug 2011

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Today I had the privilege of attending a meeting of the Business Renaissance Institute (www.bri-usa.com), whose mission is to “transform workplaces by adding more humanity to the bottom line.” Among the approximately 30 attendees, all but two or three had PhD following their names;  this is a group of highly educated, evolved and successful people who want to make a difference.  The topic under discussion was From Me to We, not coincidentally, the title of a new book written by three  BRI members/founders, each of whom spoke briefly about it.

I want to share an anecdote from Dr. Richard King, whose numerous and impressive credentials include a three-year stint as CEO of the Birtcher Corporation;  he was hired to turn that organization around.  Upon assuming his new position, Dr. King met individually with the six people directly under him and asked them these three questions:

  1. Are you happy working here?
  2. Why aren’t you happy working here?
  3. What can you contribute to this organization?

After these meetings, Dr. King and his team were able to effect the changes necessary to turn the Birtcher Corporation around.

As arts aficionados and practitioners, we should be living BRI’s mission to add more humanity to the bottom line every day.  Our product is the humanities.   But product notwithstanding, sometimes the day-to-day challenges of creating and delivering that product can cause us to lose sight of humanity in the workplace:  people don’t always agree, issues at home may make us cranky, and so forth.  Dr. King’s three questions could go a long way toward restoring a happy, collaborative and creative environment at work;  the kind of environment that fosters artistic output.

What does this have to do with negotiation?

1. You may not be able to let everyone have their own way, but you can hear them out and acknowledge their feelings.  Sometimes that alone is sufficient validation to elicit a more collaborative attitude.

2. By asking someone what s/he can contribute to the project or organization, you re-kindle his/her commitment. Committed people can do amazing things.  Conversely, if someone is not committed to an agreement, they will later find reasons to back out.

3. The answers to those three questions may give you new perspective and new ideas, as well.